Dec 12, 2014

A Brief Conversation on Crime at The Merry Cockroach

So these two thieves meet up, right? These cutthroats, these purse-slashers, these takers of candy from babies, shame to grandmothers, mothers and priests everywhere, and they haven’t spoken in a while.

“Thy recent misdeeds have greatly enhanced thy reputation,” says thief number one to thief number two. Thief number one is called Lucifuge.
“And you still sound like a pompous ass,” says thief number two. His name is Terbias because his mother couldn’t pronounce the letter O in Tobias without sticking an R in there, so the registrar who took down the name thought she meant “Terbias,” and it stuck.
“Pompous ass,” says Lucifuge. “At least I speak with wit and verve, and mingle with the cream, whereas thou… bah.” He waves his long, thin hand dismissively.

Guardian of the Way
by Thomas Rude


“So, you have something for me?” asks Terbias.
“Aye. An abduction. The object is the only son of a wealthy family in Merriweather Trough. Art thou interested?”
“Will I have to dress up like last time?” Terbias says. “You’ll never catch me in a chicken suit again, not after what that mad hamster did to me.”

Horrified by the Sun
by John Magnet Bell


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