Aug 13, 2014

The Second Coming of Gweed, the Obnoxious Hydrophobic Sailor God

First things first: The winners of the 2014 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest ("Where 'WWW' means 'Wretched Writers Welcome'") are in. Do you feel ready for these excessive and extended bursts of emotionlessness? These displays of uncannily prescient anachronism?

Second things second. Today I found out that Captain Marvel (now known as Shazam, ugh) outsold Superman comics in the 1940s. To my brief dismay.

Jakuchu Ito

Third things third. Did you know that leopards didn't used to be their own species, but the illicit offspring of lions and pards? And what, pray, can a pard possibly be -- I hear you ask. Well... Nobody quite knows. Perhaps future generations will puzzle over the zonkey, and find no reliable record of the animal's existence either.

By the way, did you know that the lady who designed Jar Jar Binks* has no idea how to pronounce the word chimera? Talk about booklish! That drove me bonkers. But you should watch the video, especially if you like to draw and learn from other artists. And IF -- no small feat, that -- if you can forgive her for the "shimmurrah."

Maybe shimmurrah means dogzilla in some language I've never heard of.

Fourth things, uh, fourth. I believe you wanted a story prompt? OK, here it is.

The two rent-a-cops followed the hooded thing down to the basement, where it left human garments behind on a stinking heap and plunged into the shadow lanes.

It burst from the dark in Paris as a 22-year-old brunette. The thing-now-she carved a message in her thigh: “Ready for the quake.”

Well of Nightmares II
by Tomek Jankowski

*I believe the Rifftrax guys described Jar Jar as "Roger Rabbit redesigned by Satan."

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