Jan 24, 2014

The Woman Who Fell in Love with a Postmodern Building and Set Her Lovers' Boat on Fire

When in Prague...

Chiara Lys nearly suffered a heart attack, and the strongest orgasm of her life, on her first trip to Prague. Her prince charming was all curves and sharp angles in the sun, deliberate – steel and glass, concrete and rebar. Chiara’s two boyfriends didn’t exactly cotton to the European stranger.

The Vitra Musem, also by Frank Gehry.
Photo by Sandstein.

Photo above: The Dancing House, in Prague, Czech Republic

As backstory, Chiara would have established a secret conversation with the building, in a language only she could hear and understand. Certain buildings would be extradimensional entities drawn into the world by unsuspecting architects working as mediums, and they would have a holy text of their own. Their multifaceted, trans-categorical language would alternately give Chiara orgasms and frighten her half to death.

I even came up with a paragraph of that holy text, the Plurichant of Gol:

Cha lii maa, unga meneh ak drebouil. Hepteh? Zaziim. Agla f’nuk f’nuk’h. Yim aglaia bizod meru. Akka baniim, hiehv detuu, iaza iaza, holol. Ink a bir-bir manigau draa. Ab ba f’nuk, diero mazolaios avva nemu, tortor vaia, agla ishoprel. Azuz mairi. Jierolam azaur venai, f’nuk, hervi atta-matuu, hacha, glel puu, indorisko menovalos. Ab ba chenom. Ol gaiur, menekh avurah, irbdi f’nuk midal, havara tushav, bielggi omalos perom zetavva niborska, vavala moneh. Hepteh? Zaz midal.

Chapter Ten Thousand and Six, paragraph two.

Gibberish or conlang? You tell me.

The EMP museum by Frank Gehry
Photo by Cacophony

As for Mr Gehry, he's a Canadian-American architect who designs buildings known for their visual impact and inventiveness. He's got detractors like art historian Hal Foster, who point out that Gehry's architecture wastes a lot of building material, puts form before function, and mostly caters to corporate branding. Be that as it may, Gehry's art and personality can and should be studied -- which includes criticism and acceptance/rejection of Gehry's principles.

Ta for now.

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