Jul 12, 2013

If You Ever Go to Houston, Make Sure You Go to Houston

Mark, the half-Nepalese, quarter-Cherokee mosquito abatement man, would like to share some koans and life tips with you.* These thoughts have helped him push through the darkest days of his life.

Sometimes you talk to water.

The tigers of wisdom at a random K-Mart.

Poetry has this way of making things more complicated that need to be complicated anyway.

Never play chess with a mammoth unless.

by Wilmer Murillo

When you need answers, black metal is a good place to go.

What would Woody Harrelson do? I mean Larry Flynt. 

During a storm, light a match. 

Grand Theft Auto teaches the bare necessities of the mouse and keyboard.

by Nick Sadek

There's an empty cup of coffee waiting for you. Fill it.

Farting is nature's way of deflating your ego.

I'm a half glass type person, so when I break I'm also half titanium.

Remember that mosquitoes have legs.

Brent Spiner would have been the greatest actor alive, if only.

Grow a mustache and life is one big excuse for napkins.

by Oleg Dou

Mark has never earned brownie points for coherence. Or logic.

*Yes, this is a story prompt, or many prompts in the guise of one. It's fiction. Mark does not exist. The Mark that can be spoken is not the real Mark. Nothing is true and everything is permitted. Want proof? Babirusas.

Mosquito abatement may be one of the best-worst jobs in the world. I first read about it in an interview with comics creator John Porcellino. My only gripe with the guy is that he loathes Peter Bagge's awesome series, Hate.

After the jump:
Music that Mark Would Enjoy

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