Oct 31, 2012

The Princess Ran Off With the T-Rex

This being my last post before the hallowed night of Samhain, and age-old custom demanding that I go out to howl at the moon, scratch at doorposts and ravage an innocent shepherdess or two (though sheep will do in a pinch), I now present 3 Halloween-themed prompts for your enjoyment.

The Princess Has Left the Castle

At the age of seven I learned that vampires do not exist, though my grandmother swore up and down that she'd had very sharp fangs in her youth.
"Where are they now?" I asked her once.
"They fell off," she said, and shifted her wooden dentures in her mouth.

Vale of Cinders

My spear is a Swiss army knife on the end of a broomstick handle.
I'm supposed to eat, shit and sleep in the jungle until the beast deigns to put in an appearance. The villagers say the animal's hide is tough, rock-hard. That it kills elephants. I kill elephants too.

Closet Dinosaurs

Carl Malinois woke up one day suspecting he was allergic to women. The lady who snored beside him as the gentle sunlight seeped through the blinds caused Carl to sneeze uncontrollably. At the eleventh earth-shaking sneeze she woke up and rolled toward him, blinking.
"Rocco, darling," she croaked, "are you OK?"
"Yeah," said Carl, pinching his nose.
He refused breakfast, jumped into his Buick Roadmaster and drove down to the shore. Sea air would do him good. Trouble came at first sight of a brunette in an orange bikini.

Photo by Lars-Göran Lindgren

Stay safe tonight. There are witches, werewolves and vampires abroad, cavorting with mummies and zombies and who knows what else.

Like our friend Shuna Sassi.
Desire is thorny.

If you're looking for a spine-tingling read, you could do a lot worse than Don Peterson's The White Feather Hex. This story is in the public domain. I even made a fan cover for it so I could look at it on my Kindle app. That said, I don't look at it as much as I used to.

Now, because tonight we see the end of this jolly screamin' season, here's a compilation of the most reused stock sound ever, the Wilhelm scream.

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